Why I start this blog?

The reason is pretty simple, as a husband, as a son, as a owner of my own company, I always facing multiple of challenges to take care of each role, and I'm really tired, out of solutions, so I hope I can get more opinions if I start this blogging... I know is not something new to you, but is something important to me, as I always wish I can do better in each roles... I know it always started with something small, but always turns big in the end... And something happen today, I was thinking maybe I should  note it down, so I can 'review' myself in future on how to become a better husband. Below is the story that is nothing new to me, is a small issue (i know), but it has turn 'big' (again) this time.

I was expecting 'just another normal Monday' this morning, having WIP at office with my team and suddenly receive this call from my sister. This is how I started my bad day today.

My mom needs to have an operation for her leg this coming Wednesday, my sister told me. And it will takes three days before allowed to go back home. So, I was thinking, maybe I should fly back to Kuching to take care of her for these 3 days while she is at hospital (at least). But there's a worry in my mind... my wife.

Before I continue, to avoid misunderstanding that I have a 'bad' wife, I must say before then that I have a good wife, she is beautiful and a very nice + manner person. A good wife that supports me all these while, no matter I'm poor or rich, no matter I'm happy or sad, no matter how smooth my career is and we've been through many challenges, and I'm sure she is a good wife. But just, she doesn't like my family much as there are multiple culture shock between east Malaysian and west Malaysia (this doesn't happen to everyone, but it happens...).

Why I'm worry about my wife then (since she is a nice wife)? There're few things that we just can't get into conclusion, with my understanding to my wife, I will face 2 issues if I want to visit my mom for the coming 3-4 days...

First issue, she is a person that afraid to be alone (FYI, we have no kid yet), as she feels scared especially at night, and she teaches art class at every Thursday & Friday night, as some of you may knows, some Malaysians like me and my wife doesn't feel safe at night at Malaysia here, as there're multiple bad news happen all these years. So, is me that accompany her when she has classes at night (we're having the same office). So, my worry is... if I'm going back to Kuching at coming Wednesday, then who is going to accompany her at Thursday / Friday then? Furthermore, she will feels lonely and scare at every night while I'm accompany my mom at Kuching, how I'm going to solve this?

Second, she may not agree that I've to go back for so many days, but I just can't, as I will regret again (my mom was having operation at 2009, and I only go back in the last minute before she leaves the hospital back home, and I felt very guilty, cried and felt very sorry to my mom, as she really needs to see me and needs me on the side, she just missed me too much, so I just can't do it again this time...). Anyway, these is just only my assumptions, so I call her up to have lunch later (as usual)...

During lunch, she was trying very hard to hold her emotion and trying to follow my suggested solution for this issue. Everything was quite smooth and I really appreciate her understanding. She plan to call her friend to accompany her for the night classes. There're no other issue from our discussion, so I believe I had think too much this time...

Just right after 1-2 hours back to office, things changed. Her friend has no problem accompanying her, but she requested me to cut down to 2-3 days, instead going away for so long (4 days). But the problem is, I've booked my air tickets... She said this:"Why you are a Sarawakian?" and hang up..... this (again) really hurts me. For me, I love my wife, I love KL, but at the same time I love my parents and my family too, and I can't change that, and I won't change that too.

So I text (SMS) her to apologize that I can't as I really miss my family and worry about my mom, and I love her, she is the same important to me like my mom, but she replied me... "Is 4 days, not 3 days. I know how important I am, thanks for caring." And full stop. My mood is now as low as 'deep sea', just can't focus on work and can't find anyone to share, so here I am, typing and talking to my computer...

I only have 1 thing in my mind now, is this my problem or her problem or no body's problem that it happen naturally everyday at every corner of the world?

*PS: Sorry for my 'poor' English, feel free to 'educate' me if any mistake found. Thanks.